








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 459 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4075 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3339 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3071 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2683 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,652,317 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fard. | 54% | 230 |
| #2 | Bread | 54% | 143 |
| #3 | YuNg™ | 52% | 485 |
| #4 | Squeak | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | pace | 50% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bread | 54% | 143 |
| #3 | YuNg™ | 52% | 485 |
| #4 | Squeak | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | pace | 50% | 255 |
| #6 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YuNg™ | 75 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | pace | 22 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Bread | 20 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | fard. | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 15 | 0.0218 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YuNg™ | 857 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #2 | pace | 740 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #3 | fard. | 656 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #4 | Bread | 265 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Squeak | 245 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fard. | +3.53 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | pace | +3.52 | 84 | 57 |
| #3 | Bread | +1.22 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | YuNg™ | -0.34 | 83 | 45 |
| #5 | JohnTheSaint♡ | -1.39 | 72 | 39 |





