








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4447 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3173 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3460 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1711 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,590,611 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 353 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tactical Suicide | 51% | 65 |
| #2 | enuf | 50% | 255 |
| #3 | YuNg™ | 50% | 260 |
| #4 | Squeak | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 49% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | YuNg™ | 50% | 260 |
| #4 | Squeak | 49% | 43 |
| #5 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 49% | 105 |
| #6 | Bread | 47% | 53 |
| #7 | "Something Racist" | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enuf | 36 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 34 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | Tactical Suicide | 33 | 0.0246 |
| #4 | YuNg™ | 26 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Bread | 9 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enuf | 568 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | YuNg™ | 436 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Squeak | 236 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bread | 97 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 64 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pace | +3.89 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | Bread | +1.39 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | YuNg™ | -0.08 | 82 | 45 |
| #4 | JohnTheSaint♡ | -0.20 | 72 | 40 |
| #5 | enuf | -1.59 | 75 | 59 |





