








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 625 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 359 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




127 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,053 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1076 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2412 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2033 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 532 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,505,348 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fard. | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Tactical Suicide | 52% | 210 |
| #3 | Dansham | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | "Something Racist" | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | pace | 49% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tactical Suicide | 247 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | pace | 238 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | fard. | 109 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | YuNg™ | 93 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | enuf | 83 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fard. | +6.07 | 79 | 56 |
| #2 | pace | +5.09 | 85 | 59 |
| #3 | JohnTheSaint♡ | +1.29 | 67 | 40 |
| #4 | Tactical Suicide | +0.54 | 67 | 39 |
| #5 | enuf | -0.72 | 77 | 60 |





