








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3015 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1761 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2103 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1024 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,425 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | Tactical Suicide | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Bread | 62% | 86 |
| #4 | "Something Racist" | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | YuNg™ | 54% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Tactical Suicide | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Bread | 62% | 86 |
| #4 | "Something Racist" | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | YuNg™ | 54% | 230 |
| #6 | enuf | 54% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YuNg™ | 50 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | enuf | 45 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 13 | 0.0206 |
| #4 | Bread | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Tactical Suicide | 11 | 0.0203 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enuf | 554 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | YuNg™ | 433 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | Bread | 167 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | JohnTheSaint♡ | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tactical Suicide | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fard. | +3.59 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | Bread | +0.74 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | JohnTheSaint♡ | +0.38 | 59 | 40 |
| #4 | Tactical Suicide | -0.02 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | YuNg™ | -0.69 | 83 | 45 |





