








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 334 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4258 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3706 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3195 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4006 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3398 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,327,420 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | navox ↓they suck↓ | 48% | 54 |
| #2 | desire | 46% | 81 |
| #3 | exactly | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | navox ↓they suck↓ | 48% | 54 |
| #2 | desire | 46% | 81 |
| #3 | exactly | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | desire | 272 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | navox ↓they suck↓ | 72 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | exactly | 52 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maashh :( | +0.96 | 55 | 60 |
| #2 | desire | +0.77 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | navox ↓they suck↓ | +0.27 | 66 | 65 |
| #4 | exactly | -0.29 | 72 | 46 |





