








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 838 matches | ||
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 46,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15587 | 33% |
| Smokes | 14499 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7383 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 9385 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,162,726 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 974 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SloppyyTopppy | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | Harp | 56% | 231 |
| #3 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 55% | 355 |
| #4 | Jonツ | 53% | 80 |
| #5 | Shocking | 52% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jonツ | 53% | 80 |
| #5 | Shocking | 52% | 96 |
| #6 | Thovex | 51% | 78 |
| #7 | riperoni | 50% | 119 |
| #8 | S1D | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 14 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Harp | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | S1D | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Jonツ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | riperoni | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 1439 | 0.18 | 34 min |
| #2 | Harp | 811 | 0.16 | 20 min |
| #3 | riperoni | 600 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #4 | Thovex | 371 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | S1D | 262 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonツ | +1.74 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | Harp | +1.56 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | +1.18 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | MobiuS | +0.92 | 81 | 68 |
| #5 | Thovex | -0.50 | 64 | 60 |





