








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1026 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 267 matches | ||
| Premier | 180 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,895 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4878 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5365 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2571 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 5081 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,581 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 922 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shocking | 59% | 113 |
| #2 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 57% | 81 |
| #3 | MobiuS | 56% | 231 |
| #4 | jerry | 51% | 105 |
| #5 | riperoni | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | MobiuS | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | jerry | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Thovex | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | S1D | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MobiuS | 1179 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | 305 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Thovex | 250 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Shocking | 221 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | riperoni | 198 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harp | +2.53 | 88 | 64 |
| #2 | ʎƃƃᴉԀ | +0.99 | 75 | 67 |
| #3 | MobiuS | +0.57 | 79 | 70 |
| #4 | jerry | -0.10 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | Shocking | -0.24 | 69 | 65 |





