








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 184 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1770 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1493 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1003 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1615 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,859 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 345 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I love the new kanye | 71% | 48 |
| #2 | unk | 68% | 19 |
| #3 | jacob? | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | Skiyyy | 65% | 17 |
| #5 | cane | 64% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kyubii | 56% | 16 |
| #10 | Pudie | 54% | 13 |
| #11 | ✈johnny airplane✈ | 54% | 26 |
| #12 | ViviD | 50% | 14 |
| #13 | tRIPwire | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | 11 | 0.0335 |
| #2 | I love the new kanye | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | unk | 5 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | cloudy | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Skiyyy | 4 | 0.0134 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I love the new kanye | 203 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✈johnny airplane✈ | 151 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #3 | cloudy | 142 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kyubii | 114 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dorsoscorpio | 69 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jacob? | +6.92 | 93 | 58 |
| #2 | I love the new kanye | +4.65 | 87 | 63 |
| #3 | Pudie | +3.63 | 95 | 67 |
| #4 | Tazzy | +2.85 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | ✈johnny airplane✈ | +2.09 | 58 | 79 |





