








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1456 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2113 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1796 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 513 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1685 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,259 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 53% | 34 |
| #2 | Mr. Nik | 44% | 117 |
| #3 | MiniColossus | 42% | 45 |
| #4 | canewts | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | izik | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Nik | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | canewts | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | izik | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | MiniColossus | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Nik | 104 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | MiniColossus | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | izik | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | canewts | 24 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Nik | +4.61 | 83 | 50 |
| #2 | MiniColossus | +1.84 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | BatmansBigBoner™ | +1.33 | 45 | 56 |
| #4 | izik | -0.85 | 21 | 32 |
| #5 | EridiumZX | -0.98 | 64 | 59 |





