








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Overpass | 54 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 923 | 24% |
| Smokes | 798 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1072 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1004 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,022,127 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1545 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 63% | 84 |
| #2 | CelebianFe | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | MiniColossus | 49% | 160 |
| #4 | EridiumZX | 44% | 117 |
| #5 | canewts | 42% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MiniColossus | 49% | 160 |
| #4 | EridiumZX | 44% | 117 |
| #5 | canewts | 42% | 74 |
| #6 | izik | 38% | 99 |
| #7 | HiphopAnonymous | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniColossus | 22 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | EridiumZX | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | izik | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | canewts | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniColossus | 306 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | EridiumZX | 293 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 143 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | izik | 90 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | canewts | 45 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Nik | +4.07 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | MiniColossus | +2.45 | 67 | 56 |
| #3 | BatmansBigBoner™ | +0.93 | 46 | 49 |
| #4 | izik | -1.19 | 19 | 35 |
| #5 | CelebianFe | -1.50 | 38 | 39 |





