








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3853 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3037 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1626 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1769 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,121 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3907 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 54% | 167 |
| #3 | Mr. Nik | 49% | 160 |
| #4 | EridiumZX | 42% | 45 |
| #5 | canewts | 42% | 36 |
| #6 | izik | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 15 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Mr. Nik | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | izik | 7 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | EridiumZX | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | canewts | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BatmansBigBoner™ | 342 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | Mr. Nik | 132 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | EridiumZX | 108 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | izik | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | canewts | 27 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Nik | +3.85 | 82 | 47 |
| #2 | MiniColossus | +2.18 | 68 | 57 |
| #3 | BatmansBigBoner™ | +1.58 | 52 | 56 |
| #4 | izik | -1.64 | 15 | 37 |
| #5 | EridiumZX | -2.17 | 60 | 56 |





