








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 935 | 35% |
| Smokes | 690 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 369 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,550 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | aNc1esta | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | DICRAF7IO | 58% | 74 |
| #4 | nnnnn | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | ER1CK | 57% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nnnnn | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | ER1CK | 57% | 7 |
| #6 | ρλd | 56% | 79 |
| #7 | Estarossa)) | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | PUCHITO | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ρλd | 9 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | DICRAF7IO | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | nnnnn | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | aNc1esta | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ρλd | 346 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #2 | DICRAF7IO | 187 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | aNc1esta | 60 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #4 | Noname | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | PUCHITO | 32 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ρλd | +2.47 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | aNc1esta | +1.75 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | Estarossa)) | +1.49 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | DICRAF7IO | +1.40 | 80 | 64 |
| #5 | ER1CK | +1.40 | 69 | 74 |





