








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 313 | 24% |
| Smokes | 383 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 279 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 330 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $65,350 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smile | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | iNSZ' ↖(^ω^)↗ |-/ | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | soniskb0b | 100% | 3 |
| #4 | Dogo Empresario | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | ρλd | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dogo Empresario | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | ρλd | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | Dicraftio | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | cell242 | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | twistzz malo | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cell242 | 66 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #2 | ρλd | 29 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dicraftio | 21 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | smile | 13 | 0.35 | 0 min |
| #5 | iNSZ' ↖(^ω^)↗ |-/ | 9 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smile | +5.03 | 87 | 77 |
| #2 | soniskb0b | +3.61 | 49 | 77 |
| #3 | Dicraftio | +2.23 | 83 | 78 |
| #4 | Dogo Empresario | +1.60 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | PUCHITO | +1.07 | 75 | 59 |





