








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 178 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1810 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1824 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1148 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1973 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $431,676 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 215 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ! ER1CK | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | aNc1esta | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | Dogo Empresario | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | ρλd | 61% | 157 |
| #5 | eSloLY-n1- | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dogo Empresario | 67% | 12 |
| #4 | ρλd | 61% | 157 |
| #5 | eSloLY-n1- | 60% | 10 |
| #6 | twistzz malo | 59% | 27 |
| #7 | cell242 | 58% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ρλd | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | aNc1esta | 3 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | twistzz malo | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | cell242 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ρλd | 731 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #2 | cell242 | 345 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | aNc1esta | 73 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | twistzz malo | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dogo Empresario | 32 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ! ER1CK | +3.14 | 74 | 79 |
| #2 | ρλd | +2.54 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | Dicraftio | +1.45 | 90 | 67 |
| #4 | aNc1esta | +1.10 | 71 | 53 |
| #5 | twistzz malo | +0.91 | 84 | 58 |





