








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 607 | 24% |
| Smokes | 644 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 737 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 550 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,091 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | tAURU$$$ | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | nnnnn | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | DICRAF7IO | 67% | 12 |
| #5 | Noname | 64% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Noname | 64% | 11 |
| #6 | ρλd | 62% | 26 |
| #7 | maqu1 | 60% | 5 |
| #8 | blazeD | 50% | 6 |
| #9 | TWITCH: ivantraka | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DICRAF7IO | 2 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | TWITCH: ivantraka | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | ρλd | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | nnnnn | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ρλd | 131 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | Noname | 92 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #3 | Noname | 37 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | tAURU$$$ | 32 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | DICRAF7IO | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tAURU$$$ | +4.27 | 73 | 52 |
| #2 | nnnnn | +1.55 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | ρλd | +1.21 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | Noname | +0.47 | 82 | 46 |
| #5 | DICRAF7IO | -0.19 | 69 | 68 |





