








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 749 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4297 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3377 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2323 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4254 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,952,415 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -connor- | 63% | 94 |
| #2 | Peachy [S] | 63% | 136 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ C_BIG | 62% | 63 |
| #4 | filTH | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 52% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 43 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | Peachy [S] | 14 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | -connor- | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ C_BIG | 6 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Kharma | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ ◠ ◡ ◠ ♡ | 425 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | Peachy [S] | 329 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ C_BIG | 314 | 0.26 | 7 min |
| #4 | Kharma | 206 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | -connor- | 163 | 0.09 | 3 min |





