








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,554 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1516 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2024 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1113 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1901 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $308,695 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyS | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | HideOnTurtle | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | NeYo | シ | 57% | 37 |
| #4 | Zyw0o from Wish | 56% | 75 |
| #5 | gab1k | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | gab1k | 50% | 16 |
| #6 | Zyzal | 50% | 60 |
| #7 | Gypsy_Slayer90 | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | Frodo Beutlin | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | vanBrook | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zyzal | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Gypsy_Slayer90 | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | NeYo | シ | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | gab1k | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | KennyS | 2 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frodo Beutlin | 104 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Zyw0o from Wish | 85 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | KennyS | 35 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | gab1k | 33 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | HideOnTurtle | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KennyS | +4.06 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | Jacala | +2.48 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Zyw0o from Wish | +1.23 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | Gypsy_Slayer90 | +0.78 | 69 | 37 |
| #5 | gab1k | +0.53 | 63 | 52 |





