








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 643 | 38% |
| Smokes | 411 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 340 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 285 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,013 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 77 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Drunk | 54% | 50 |
| #2 | wrong.address | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | chlen | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | lukap | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | We lift in a society | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | chlen | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | lukap | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | We lift in a society | 42% | 24 |
| #6 | Luke | 41% | 69 |
| #7 | The Diddler | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 23 | 0.0171 |
| #2 | chlen | 20 | 0.0142 |
| #3 | We lift in a society | 18 | 0.0380 |
| #4 | lukap | 10 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | wrong.address | 7 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chlen | 278 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | wrong.address | 153 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | The Drunk | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | lukap | 98 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | We lift in a society | 91 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chlen | +5.65 | 89 | 57 |
| #2 | We lift in a society | +3.43 | 61 | 55 |
| #3 | wrong.address | +0.95 | 51 | 49 |
| #4 | Luke | +0.78 | 58 | 19 |
| #5 | The Drunk | +0.27 | 47 | 34 |





