








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 211 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2451 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2241 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3677 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2808 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,097,718 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Critically Impaired | 55% | 174 |
| #2 | chlen | 53% | 199 |
| #3 | wrong.address | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | RandomDuck | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | We lift in a society | 45% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | chlen | 53% | 199 |
| #3 | wrong.address | 51% | 45 |
| #4 | RandomDuck | 48% | 46 |
| #5 | We lift in a society | 45% | 53 |
| #6 | Luke | 41% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chlen | 46 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Critically Impaired | 45 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | We lift in a society | 30 | 0.0271 |
| #4 | Luke | 24 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | RandomDuck | 11 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Critically Impaired | 1234 | 0.35 | 32 min |
| #2 | chlen | 685 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #3 | wrong.address | 228 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #4 | We lift in a society | 200 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Luke | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chlen | +4.28 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | We lift in a society | +1.81 | 66 | 62 |
| #3 | Critically Impaired | +0.45 | 49 | 78 |
| #4 | lukap | -0.19 | 65 | 48 |
| #5 | Luke | -0.53 | 56 | 18 |





