








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2002 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1996 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1950 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1770 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,828 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ds11 ☣snake☣ | 69% | 52 |
| #2 | Doffy!! | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Eau Rouge | 58% | 88 |
| #4 | Core 愛 | 57% | 162 |
| #5 | NachoX- | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Core 愛 | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Eau Rouge | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | DaNi_20 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | PraTwo | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ds11 ☣snake☣ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NachoX- | +1.19 | 63 | 57 |
| #2 | Chaparro | +1.10 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | Core 愛 | +0.97 | 84 | 74 |
| #4 | Eau Rouge | +0.61 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | ds11 ☣snake☣ | -0.94 | 75 | 50 |





