








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 430 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 106 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2578 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4492 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4258 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4760 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,075,237 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaparro | 69% | 52 |
| #2 | siK | 65% | 51 |
| #3 | ✪ 𝓕𝓵𝓪𝓶𝓮 火 | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | PraTwo | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | Desconocido | 57% | 37 |





