








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1024 | 23% |
| Smokes | 584 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1314 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1443 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,100 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 265 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Punchy bag | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | HeavyD | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | Patrick | 79% | 19 |
| #4 | ! Stean | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | LT.FURY | 72% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | CheezMonkey | 56% | 18 |
| #9 | Gully | 52% | 75 |
| #10 | Pencil | 38% | 13 |
| #11 | Ja-Ja | 31% | 13 |
| #12 | slitathroat. | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CheezMonkey | 6 | 0.0175 |
| #2 | slitathroat. | 6 | 0.0355 |
| #3 | Gully | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | LT.FURY | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Patrick | 3 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gully | 356 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | Patrick | 95 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bustxd | 71 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | ! Stean | 66 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #5 | CheezMonkey | 60 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | +4.35 | 71 | 61 |
| #2 | Bustxd | +3.22 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | Gully | +2.37 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | HeavyD | +1.67 | 71 | 58 |
| #5 | Punchy bag | +1.61 | 79 | 75 |





