








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2497 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,906 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1699 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 552 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $674,575 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 113 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anithe✯ | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | HeavyD | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Pencil | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Patrick | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | Gully | 51% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | 15 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Gully | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Minesme | 8 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | Punchy bag | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | CkPwn | 6 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gully | 571 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Punchy bag | 298 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | Patrick | 265 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | x_Floofmageddon_x | 181 | 0.40 | 5 min |
| #5 | CkPwn | 100 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patrick | +3.83 | 77 | 57 |
| #2 | Anithe✯ | +2.57 | 67 | 56 |
| #3 | Gully | +2.21 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | Punchy bag | +0.94 | 66 | 72 |
| #5 | HeavyD | +0.58 | 61 | 58 |





