








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2407 | 38% |
| Smokes | 997 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1340 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1641 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,041 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luu | 46% | 155 |
| #2 | i drink and drive | 42% | 130 |
| #3 | incstinct | 39% | 76 |
| #4 | Rouszeau | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luu | 46% | 155 |
| #2 | i drink and drive | 42% | 130 |
| #3 | incstinct | 39% | 76 |
| #4 | Rouszeau | 39% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i drink and drive | 60 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | Luu | 39 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | incstinct | 9 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Rouszeau | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luu | 510 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | i drink and drive | 288 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | incstinct | 78 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Rouszeau | 8 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | incstinct | +3.22 | 80 | 42 |
| #2 | Deathallss | +2.92 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | Luu | +1.69 | 42 | 54 |
| #4 | i drink and drive | -4.42 | 14 | 39 |
| #5 | Rouszeau | -5.64 | 5 | 4 |





