








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,259 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1127 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1444 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1582 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1106 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,502 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manbird | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | ✪p4yn3x | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Zipfi Langstrumpf | 52% | 86 |
| #4 | Legat | 48% | 114 |
| #5 | Broly | 45% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | corvus | 45% | 124 |
| #7 | Dr. Argos | 43% | 47 |
| #8 | [AUT] Ravonator | ラファエル | 37% | 27 |
| #9 | Renoido | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | Herk | 23% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corvus | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Zipfi Langstrumpf | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Legat | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Dr. Argos | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Broly | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legat | 389 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Broly | 329 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | corvus | 195 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zipfi Langstrumpf | 105 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dr. Argos | 80 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broly | +3.46 | 81 | 77 |
| #2 | corvus | +0.36 | 66 | 45 |
| #3 | ✪p4yn3x | +0.35 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | GzuzChrist | -0.14 | 73 | 56 |
| #5 | Legat | -0.20 | 46 | 65 |





