








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 664 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5762 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4481 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4938 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2776 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,079,336 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pun1sher | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | Tardik | 49% | 90 |
| #3 | [AUT] Ravonator | ラファエル | 48% | 91 |
| #4 | GzuzChrist | 48% | 114 |
| #5 | Zipfi Langstrumpf | 48% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | corvus | 46% | 387 |
| #8 | Dr. Argos | 45% | 192 |
| #9 | Broly | 43% | 174 |
| #10 | Ciped dé Velot | 40% | 30 |
| #11 | Herk | 39% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corvus | 16 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Zipfi Langstrumpf | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Dr. Argos | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Broly | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ✪p4yn3x | 5 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broly | 864 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #2 | corvus | 812 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | Dr. Argos | 363 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✪p4yn3x | 266 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Tardik | 239 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broly | +2.87 | 81 | 75 |
| #2 | Tardik | +2.09 | 77 | 52 |
| #3 | Pun1sher | +1.38 | 75 | 53 |
| #4 | [AUT] Ravonator | ラファエル | +0.41 | 45 | 55 |
| #5 | corvus | +0.05 | 62 | 44 |





