








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Wingman | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4791 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4522 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2821 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2765 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $769,824 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manbird | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | ✪p4yn3x | 52% | 88 |
| #3 | GzuzChrist | 45% | 75 |
| #4 | corvus | 45% | 223 |
| #5 | Dr. Argos | 44% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Legat | 43% | 174 |
| #7 | Herk | 43% | 150 |
| #8 | [AUT] Ravonator | ラファエル | 43% | 80 |
| #9 | Tardik | 42% | 26 |
| #10 | Zipfi Langstrumpf | 42% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | corvus | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Dr. Argos | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | [AUT] Ravonator | ラファエル | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Zipfi Langstrumpf | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Herk | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Legat | 555 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | corvus | 455 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Dr. Argos | 247 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Herk | 219 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪p4yn3x | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broly | +3.10 | 81 | 71 |
| #2 | Tardik | +0.71 | 79 | 50 |
| #3 | [AUT] Ravonator | ラファエル | +0.31 | 45 | 53 |
| #4 | corvus | -0.20 | 63 | 44 |
| #5 | manbird | -0.79 | 48 | 45 |





