








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1063 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 648 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7356 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6563 | 23% |
| Smokes | 9086 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5407 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 7169 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,162,628 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou | 57% | 114 |
| #2 | tobami | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Clarky | 53% | 196 |
| #4 | Mike | 52% | 175 |
| #5 | Elimn8d | 52% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rey | 47% | 113 |
| #9 | icy | 46% | 46 |
| #10 | Jiffz | 45% | 66 |
| #11 | Columbo Kam | 42% | 97 |
| #12 | TetumTede | 41% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globalik | 67 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Clarky | 31 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Lou | 16 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Mike | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Mr.PapaSmoke 🦄 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Globalik | 2264 | 0.22 | 63 min |
| #2 | Clarky | 719 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | Mike | 600 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | Lou | 239 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mr.PapaSmoke 🦄 | 236 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lou | +4.53 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | tobami | +4.07 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Clarky | +1.50 | 61 | 68 |
| #4 | Mike | +0.42 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | Jiffz | +0.39 | 53 | 66 |





