








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 749 | 41% |
| Smokes | 277 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 351 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 440 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,780 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Champ | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | Shockie | 50% | 4 |
| #9 | Zyrekz | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | FL0rest | 33% | 3 |
| #11 | 333 | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuco | 3 | 0.0526 |
| #2 | aidanxa | 2 | 0.0274 |
| #3 | 333 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Milk is clear | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | jono the joburg boet | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 333 | 81 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | Milk is clear | 71 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | FL0rest | 17 | 0.27 | 0 min |
| #4 | aidanxa | 12 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | jono the joburg boet | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jono the joburg boet | +4.41 | 69 | 30 |
| #2 | Kremikz | +3.13 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Milk is clear | +1.44 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | ★curs3★ | +1.24 | 50 | 68 |
| #5 | tuco | +1.10 | 60 | 56 |





