








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 250 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2403 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2027 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1305 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2020 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,045 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yellow flash | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | ha | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Lvbster | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Kremikz | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | jono the joburg boet | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ha | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | Lvbster | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | Kremikz | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | jono the joburg boet | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | 333 | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 333 | 7 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | yellow flash | 5 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | ha | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | jono the joburg boet | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Lvbster | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 333 | 127 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | ha | 122 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #3 | Lvbster | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | yellow flash | 94 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Kremikz | 71 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ha | +3.63 | 89 | 59 |
| #2 | Lvbster | +3.06 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | jono the joburg boet | +3.04 | 75 | 41 |
| #4 | Kremikz | +2.81 | 83 | 71 |
| #5 | yellow flash | +2.74 | 76 | 66 |





