








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,535 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1692 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1379 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1195 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1269 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,273 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Zyrekz | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Real ❤ | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | Snorio Terrance | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | ★curs3★ | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | Kremikz | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuco | 17 | 0.0278 |
| #2 | Kremikz | 6 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | jono the joburg boet | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | ★curs3★ | 3 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | Zyrekz | 2 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuco | +5.13 | 90 | 48 |
| #2 | yellow flash | +4.68 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | jono the joburg boet | +4.30 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | Kremikz | +3.14 | 80 | 71 |
| #5 | Milk is clear | +2.41 | 78 | 58 |





