








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2682 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1905 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2160 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 699 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,583 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zithic | 72% | 89 |
| #2 | Choccy Milk | 71% | 70 |
| #3 | Remlina | 68% | 85 |
| #4 | FUCKEN quinton | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | MyCool | 55% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zithic | 328 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #2 | ao2 | 230 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #3 | Choccy Milk | 212 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | pavey | 211 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | MyCool | 161 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zithic | +3.60 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | remi | +1.84 | 62 | 57 |
| #3 | FUCKEN quinton | +1.67 | 67 | 33 |
| #4 | ツ | +1.39 | 84 | 58 |
| #5 | Remlina | +1.18 | 73 | 47 |





