










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4882 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6193 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5792 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4534 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5231 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,963,000 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | remi | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | ツ | 51% | 156 |
| #3 | pavey | 51% | 273 |
| #4 | ao2 | 51% | 169 |
| #5 | Bendy Cucumbè | 50% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ツ | 51% | 156 |
| #3 | pavey | 51% | 273 |
| #4 | ao2 | 51% | 169 |
| #5 | Bendy Cucumbè | 50% | 244 |
| #6 | robin | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pavey | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Bendy Cucumbè | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | ツ | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | ao2 | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | remi | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ao2 | 1033 | 0.28 | 29 min |
| #2 | pavey | 842 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | Bendy Cucumbè | 781 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #4 | ツ | 367 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | remi | 177 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | remi | +3.38 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | ツ | +1.28 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | pavey | +0.02 | 53 | 64 |
| #4 | Bendy Cucumbè | +0.00 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | MyCool | -0.09 | 64 | 69 |





