










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3547 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,511 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1469 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2778 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1336 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1928 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,149 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bibby | 56% | 27 |
| #6 | Bunzi | 55% | 20 |
| #7 | undefine | 54% | 35 |
| #8 | Day | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | tomoe | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fartpoop | 136 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bibby | 121 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bunzi | 104 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | fRENzY | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | undefine | 89 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jarren | +2.44 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | tomoe | +2.11 | 83 | 62 |
| #3 | byzun | +1.31 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | Bunzi | +1.16 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | fRENzY | +0.89 | 72 | 70 |





