








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2508 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2986 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3030 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2222 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,219,366 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomoe | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | fRENzY | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | viper_king | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | jarren | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | fartpoop | 50% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomoe | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | fRENzY | 60% | 75 |
| #3 | viper_king | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | jarren | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | fartpoop | 50% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fRENzY | 18 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | fartpoop | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | tomoe | 14 | 0.0222 |
| #4 | viper_king | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fartpoop | 376 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | fRENzY | 249 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | jarren | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | viper_king | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | tomoe | 65 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomoe | +3.40 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | fRENzY | +2.63 | 77 | 77 |
| #3 | jarren | +1.96 | 89 | 51 |
| #4 | viper_king | +1.67 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | fartpoop | +1.19 | 61 | 56 |





