








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3190 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2421 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1974 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1510 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,827 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 646 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joja | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Thorsen | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | coDaZ! | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | rath | 48% | 23 |
| #5 | nnexi | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <viper>qlimax | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Thorsen | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | pall3hax | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Joja | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coDaZ! | +5.38 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | Joja | +2.14 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | Hr. YOLO | El Capitan | +1.35 | 65 | 68 |
| #4 | rath | +0.92 | 85 | 70 |
| #5 | nnexi | +0.52 | 75 | 67 |





