








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2071 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 589 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10656 | 35% |
| Smokes | 8565 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5373 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5902 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,184,872 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byzun | 61% | 41 |
| #2 | Mwah | 56% | 118 |
| #3 | THE THINKER | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | Dahbears | 45% | 65 |
| #5 | Nolvia | 44% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | THE THINKER | 55% | 60 |
| #4 | Dahbears | 45% | 65 |
| #5 | Nolvia | 44% | 93 |
| #6 | Triage | 43% | 49 |
| #7 | Omega Bean | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | byzun | 11 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | Nolvia | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | THE THINKER | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Mwah | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Omega Bean | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THE THINKER | 220 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Triage | 191 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | byzun | 179 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nolvia | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mwah | 150 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mwah | +2.99 | 93 | 50 |
| #2 | THE THINKER | +1.46 | 64 | 50 |
| #3 | byzun | +0.92 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | soft terrorist | +0.65 | 65 | 70 |
| #5 | Dahbears | -1.15 | 57 | 53 |





