








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,792 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6976 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9065 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4515 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4236 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,442,679 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smonky | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | GoBrian | 48% | 121 |
| #3 | TheKillerHawk | 44% | 96 |
| #4 | Archie | 44% | 195 |
| #5 | boat | 43% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GoBrian | 48% | 121 |
| #3 | TheKillerHawk | 44% | 96 |
| #4 | Archie | 44% | 195 |
| #5 | boat | 43% | 141 |
| #6 | IRS Scammer | 43% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoBrian | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | TheKillerHawk | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Archie | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | boat | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | IRS Scammer | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Archie | 853 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | boat | 439 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | GoBrian | 388 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | IRS Scammer | 350 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | TheKillerHawk | 226 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smonky | +2.30 | 76 | 63 |
| #2 | TheKillerHawk | +0.90 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | GoBrian | +0.87 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | Archie | +0.62 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | boat | -0.07 | 75 | 69 |





