








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2863 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3115 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2813 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3715 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $856,594 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 157 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | SaggySally | 52% | 25 |
| #11 | Bluekestrel1 | 52% | 52 |
| #12 | HardWare | 51% | 41 |
| #13 | Olive | 46% | 35 |
| #14 | boat | 45% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoBrian | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Archie | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | TheKillerHawk | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Bluekestrel1 | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | trophe | 4 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GoBrian | 1034 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #2 | Archie | 781 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | TheKillerHawk | 428 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | boat | 199 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Yuri | 186 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smonky | +2.61 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | G^Three | +1.27 | 79 | 55 |
| #3 | trophe | +0.83 | 86 | 56 |
| #4 | Its_Tsunami | +0.79 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | GoBrian | +0.66 | 80 | 64 |





