








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
451 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 424 | 23% |
| Smokes | 507 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 443 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 462 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,342 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D4V3 | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | giorgio | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | dr. Doctor Man | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | 椎名真白 | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | ruztyyy | 55% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | cyntax | 50% | 8 |
| #12 | Pat | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | Alejandro ツ | 33% | 3 |
| #14 | Headless | 0% | 4 |
| #15 | jakkbb | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruztyyy | 92 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pat | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Bjaly | 18 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #4 | dr. Doctor Man | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | cyntax | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cyntax | +2.45 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Pat | +2.39 | 87 | 53 |
| #3 | KFED | +1.48 | 65 | 75 |
| #4 | dr. Doctor Man | +1.44 | 79 | 57 |
| #5 | ruztyyy | +1.03 | 45 | 74 |





