








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
452 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,188 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 103 | 9% |
| Smokes | 299 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 486 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 300 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,581 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Tony | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | giorgio | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | dr. Doctor Man | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | D4V3 | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | ruztyyy | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Pat | 43% | 14 |
| #10 | diddmau5 | 40% | 5 |
| #11 | Hjbz* | 33% | 3 |
| #12 | Na9mús | 33% | 3 |
| #13 | jakkbb | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deeyv | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | 椎名真白 | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | D4V3 | 1 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | cyntax | 1 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruztyyy | 106 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Deeyv | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Pat | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | dr. Doctor Man | 22 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | 椎名真白 | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | giorgio | +3.46 | 48 | 73 |
| #2 | Pat | +2.31 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | cyntax | +2.15 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | dr. Doctor Man | +0.97 | 79 | 70 |
| #5 | Deeyv | +0.53 | 61 | 67 |





