








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 215 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




138 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,884 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1941 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1641 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3661 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2641 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,100,027 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 440 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Chow Chow | 43% | 318 |
| #2 | schadenfreude | 42% | 331 |
| #3 | You | 40% | 290 |
| #4 | Herb | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | wagyu burger | 39% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Chow Chow | 43% | 318 |
| #2 | schadenfreude | 42% | 331 |
| #3 | You | 40% | 290 |
| #4 | Herb | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | wagyu burger | 39% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schadenfreude | 131 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | You | 82 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | wagyu burger | 64 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | General Chow Chow | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Herb | 5 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wagyu burger | 930 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #2 | schadenfreude | 688 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | General Chow Chow | 383 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | You | 259 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Herb | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schadenfreude | +1.51 | 68 | 46 |
| #2 | General Chow Chow | +1.21 | 62 | 37 |
| #3 | You | +1.09 | 73 | 28 |
| #4 | Herb | -1.94 | 55 | 34 |
| #5 | wagyu burger | -2.03 | 13 | 48 |





