








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2535 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1741 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2215 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1333 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,645,798 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1006 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schadenfreude | 47% | 470 |
| #2 | You | 47% | 392 |
| #3 | wagyu burger | 45% | 328 |
| #4 | Herb | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | Nefarious Fubar | 43% | 318 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schadenfreude | 47% | 470 |
| #2 | You | 47% | 392 |
| #3 | wagyu burger | 45% | 328 |
| #4 | Herb | 44% | 41 |
| #5 | Nefarious Fubar | 43% | 318 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schadenfreude | 123 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | You | 94 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Nefarious Fubar | 81 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | wagyu burger | 62 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Herb | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wagyu burger | 1020 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #2 | schadenfreude | 944 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #3 | Nefarious Fubar | 640 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | You | 393 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | Herb | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schadenfreude | +1.13 | 71 | 49 |
| #2 | General Chow Chow | +0.94 | 61 | 38 |
| #3 | You | +0.84 | 73 | 30 |
| #4 | wagyu burger | -2.01 | 13 | 51 |
| #5 | Herb | -2.27 | 55 | 41 |





