








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3151 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,562 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3738 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2993 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3827 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2004 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,216,609 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Chow Chow | 45% | 328 |
| #2 | schadenfreude | 43% | 389 |
| #3 | You | 43% | 287 |
| #4 | Nefarious Fubar | 39% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Chow Chow | 45% | 328 |
| #2 | schadenfreude | 43% | 389 |
| #3 | You | 43% | 287 |
| #4 | Nefarious Fubar | 39% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schadenfreude | 144 | 0.0191 |
| #2 | Nefarious Fubar | 99 | 0.0194 |
| #3 | You | 72 | 0.0126 |
| #4 | General Chow Chow | 13 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schadenfreude | 734 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #2 | Nefarious Fubar | 529 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | General Chow Chow | 394 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | You | 250 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | General Chow Chow | +1.49 | 62 | 33 |
| #2 | schadenfreude | +1.39 | 69 | 47 |
| #3 | You | +0.96 | 74 | 26 |
| #4 | wagyu burger | -2.00 | 14 | 51 |
| #5 | Nefarious Fubar | -2.71 | 25 | 36 |





