








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 336 | 25% |
| Smokes | 432 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 319 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 278 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $113,109 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tralalero Tralala | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | nob | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | tidneB | 86% | 7 |
| #4 | NIL | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | Mikrobløgeovn | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NIL | 80% | 5 |
| #5 | Mikrobløgeovn | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | Himan | 67% | 6 |
| #7 | shouty | 62% | 13 |
| #8 | CyreXIX | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shouty | 6 | 0.0258 |
| #2 | NIL | 2 | 0.0177 |
| #3 | CyreXIX | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Tralalero Tralala | 1 | 0.0147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shouty | 47 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | CyreXIX | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | nob | 17 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Himan | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | tidneB | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Himan | +6.14 | 82 | 26 |
| #2 | NIL | +4.01 | 87 | 34 |
| #3 | CyreXIX | +3.02 | 81 | 32 |
| #4 | nob | +2.69 | 72 | 50 |
| #5 | shouty | +2.52 | 89 | 65 |





