








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,083 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 314 | 29% |
| Smokes | 155 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 286 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 328 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,702 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Chaka | 44% | 27 |
| #3 | CerealSauce | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | MapleFlavored | 40% | 30 |
| #5 | Jose | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | CerealSauce | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | MapleFlavored | 40% | 30 |
| #5 | Jose | 39% | 23 |
| #6 | Mr. Puffer | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Birth | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MapleFlavored | 10 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | Chaka | 8 | 0.0154 |
| #3 | Jose | 5 | 0.0102 |
| #4 | CerealSauce | 3 | 0.0154 |
| #5 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 3 | 0.0167 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jose | 126 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #2 | Chaka | 110 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | MapleFlavored | 103 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #4 | CerealSauce | 21 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Thing 3 (terrible) | 11 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Puffer | +5.94 | 71 | 32 |
| #2 | m1 | +2.97 | 74 | 56 |
| #3 | Chaka | +0.09 | 58 | 56 |
| #4 | Jose | -0.27 | 48 | 45 |
| #5 | MapleFlavored | -2.98 | 35 | 38 |





