








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5012 | 42% |
| Smokes | 3142 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1688 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2162 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $844,824 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1010 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julia | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | etalS | 42% | 151 |
| #3 | everyones favorite dog | 40% | 80 |
| #4 | MothMan | 36% | 74 |
| #5 | LYNN | 34% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etalS | 426 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | LYNN | 406 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | otter | 345 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | MothMan | 304 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Nightliss_ | 224 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | everyones favorite dog | +3.19 | 61 | 54 |
| #2 | otter | +2.69 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | melody | +1.51 | 58 | 50 |
| #4 | LYNN | +1.03 | 68 | 52 |
| #5 | etalS | -0.01 | 59 | 52 |





