








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1059 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10824 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5921 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 8396 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7233 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,613,370 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1678 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | w4nky | 41% | 86 |
| #11 | Nightliss_ | 39% | 118 |
| #12 | etalS | 38% | 148 |
| #13 | otter | 37% | 145 |
| #14 | repinuj | 36% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Julia | 1934 | 0.23 | 56 min |
| #2 | LYNN | 586 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #3 | Green | 563 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | otter | 500 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #5 | etalS | 491 | 0.17 | 11 min |





