










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 731 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1149 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1701 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1661 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $997,315 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vendo Naranjas | 50 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | uL- | 39 | 0.0192 |
| #3 | colo | 28 | 0.0191 |
| #4 | Mortten_ | 20 | 0.0217 |
| #5 | Porongol ✧ | 9 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uL- | 580 | 0.29 | 13 min |
| #2 | colo | 339 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mortten_ | 300 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #4 | Porongol ✧ | 241 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | goku ssj 100 | 203 | 0.15 | 5 min |





