








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




121 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6431 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10560 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2166 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 6219 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5166 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $932,550 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1749 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colo | 63% | 150 |
| #2 | spark | 63% | 49 |
| #3 | uL- | 63% | 54 |
| #4 | ⋆˙⟡ | 62% | 39 |
| #5 | Vendo Naranjas | 59% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | colo | 777 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #2 | Porongol ✧ | 480 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Cierro a las 7 | 426 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #4 | uL- | 323 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #5 | ⋆˙⟡ | 187 | 0.26 | 4 min |





